Life

The Hibernating Beast that Lives Within

This is for any and everyone living with a chronic illness. Know that you are not alone, you are loved, and you are stronger than you may think.

This past week has been a very tough one for my family. We have been dealing with an unwanted and energy zapping “beast” that have plagued us for quite too long. But to gain a better understanding of this we must first go back in time. To a time when I, a 28 year old mother, was just a 2 year old toddler. 

As a young child of 2 I was diagnosed with sickle cell anemia. A diagnoses that has affected the entire course of my life. A diagnoses that at the time I had no idea what it meant. I was 2 when my mother realized her baby girl wasn’t playing and behaving like a normal 2 year old. Which prompted her to go to the physician and find out what was going on with her child. 

After a blood test found my diagnoses, in the 80’s sickle cell disease was not a part of newborn screening, things changed. I was treated as if I was made of porcelain and placed in an invisible bubble. As a kid it felt as if anything could trigger a pain crises. Running, playing, dancing, even extended periods of time in a pool are all things that have triggered a pain crises for me. 

I remember referring to my illness as the “hibernating beast”. The beast would sleep for awhile but whenever I was having fun or trying to live a normal life he would awaken and disrupt everything. The beast kept me hospitalized for days even weeks at a time. I hated the beast.   

Well last week he decided to wake from his slumber and shake things up again. It had been 4 months of hibernation but unfortunately now I had to find a way to deal with the pain and still find the energy to be present for my family. I am no longer a kid, I am someone’s wife and mother and they need me to take care of them, right?
Well this week has shown me the strength that Christ has built within my family. In my days of losing my ability to care for them they have cared for me. They have been my support and reminded me how strong I truly am. Yes there will be some very hard moments in your life, especially if you are dealing with a chronic illness, but remember you are guided and loved by God and your family. 

Remember, God does not give you anything that you cannot handle. You were chosen, not plagued by a beast. 

Did you or anyone you know have a chronic illness? What are some positive ways you deal with your illness?


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